On a spur of the moment in late December 2017, our family decided to take a trip to Balmorhea State Park. If you have never heard of it, Balmorhea is a small town just south of Pecos in West Texas, known for very little except a natural spring fed swimming hole that is popular in the area. Even in the winter, the water stays ~72F and people swim in it year round. It is one of my favorite places, especially during the winter when it is quiet and peaceful.
While the goal was to get the family outside on a beautiful fall day, I had other motives as well. I wanted T and I to spend some time starting our 2018 goal setting. We have failed miserably in the past trying to get this done, but I really wanted to be intentional about it. The 2 hour drive to the State Park would be a perfect time to get it down on paper, baring yelling kids in the background.
Over the years, we have developed some bad habits while traveling as a family. Many times when I would be driving, the kids would be in the back watching iPads, while T would be on her phone. Then I started putting in headphones an listening to an audiobook or podcast on my phone. Everyone was tuning out.
But there is a limited amount of trapped time together, so it should be used the best way possible: talking.
We very rarely have any paper or pens in the car, but I had come prepared. If all else failed, we could try and do something that will pull the girls into the discussion, like talking about future vacations (amazing what talking about Disney will do for kids). Or of course, go back to iPads.
I wanted to use the method outlined in Pat Flynn’s book Will it Fly, although targeting next year only (In his book he covers longer term goal setting). One year was all that I felt like I could tackle at this point.
T knew there was something up when I brought a stack of papers and something to write with. “Why are you bringing those in the car?” she said. Don’t worry about it, you will see.
After we got out of town and got the kids settled (it helps when we were out of cell range), I asked T to pull out that paper and pen and fold the paper in half both ways. This left 4 quadrants on the piece of paper, where we could put the 4 biggest categories for our life in 2018. She felt this was a little hokey but was willing to go along.
We chose Faith, Family, Health, and Profession, in that order. Under each, we wanted to list at least 10 SMART goals that we wanted to achieve and measure our progress against. By the end of the year, we should be able to look back on these and, if accomplished, agree that it was a success.
In retrospect, it would have been better to start with a few subcategories under each one, but eventually we got down the main goals. This exercise is very important now in this stage of our life because we are in the middle of a huge move along with a new job, and communication tends to be difficult in these frantic times in life.
A lot of times people can use this exercise to make a laundry list of items that they want their significant other to improve upon. This is not the time and place for this.
Do this with paper and pen, not Evernote or some other electronic tool. While those are great and you can transfer to them at a later time, then is something more tactile/committal when you do it this way.
Starting with Faith, we made a
Start this process with a visualization exercise, picturing yourself a year from now in the perfect ideal stat. Think about the house you are in (could be your own), what you are wearing, what the family is doing at the time. This will help make it more real. Are you playing a board game at the table, where there is laughing a lots of light? Have you removed any worries about work/money/relationships?
When we got home, we unfolded the page and put it on the counter.
Take Two
- As much as you have been putting it off, set goals with yourself and significant other. There will be no progress in your life unless you set an aiming point. Don’t be overly critical with yourself or others, but be realistic about what you want to achieve.
- Use trapped time together productively and intentionally. This is a large amount of time that can escape you if you are not careful. Be intentional with those closest with you, and encourage each others in your goal.
